Esther 4:14 And who knows if perhaps you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (BSB)
Hadassah lived in a place called Persia. When she was young, her mother and father had died, and so she was raised by her cousin Mordecai. And even though they lived in Persia, they were not actually Persian. They were immigrants. Well, sort of. They had not chosen to come here. Their great-grandparents had been taken out of Jerusalem by an army and plopped here to help build buildings, clean streets, and paint houses. And so while Hadassah and Mordecai lived in Persia and spoke Persian, they were also part of the family of Jacob. And they were called Jews. And while some Jews had returned to rebuild Jerusalem, Hadassah and Mordecai stayed behind. They thought things would be better for them in Persia.
But sometimes Mordecai would talk about their ancestors in Jerusalem and what their life would have been like. He’d tell Hadassah the stories of Ruth, and David, and Moses. But Hadassah didn’t want to look back or care to imagine a world she’d never known. Instead, she looked out the window facing the big, beautiful palace in the center of the city and listened to the giant parties, smelled the huge feasts, heard the loud music, and dreamed of a different life. A better life. A better life for her and for Mordecai. And the best life she could imagine was here in Persia, in that palace.
That’s right, she wanted to be a princess. And who hasn’t imagined being a king or queen, and having a palace with servants? But Hadassah was not just a dreamer. She was a believer. And she trusted that one day she’d get the chance to impress the king, and he’d be so struck by her charm and beauty and wit that he’d fall in love and make her his queen.
And so when the king announced that he was hosting a contest to help him pick his next bride, Hadassah jumped for joy. “It’s going to be me!” she shouted. And people must have thought she was crazy to even try to compete. How could an orphan girl, an immigrant and refugee, become the queen of the most powerful empire in the world? There were lots and lots of perfectly fun, smart, rich, and beautiful Persians who were lined up ahead of her. Why would the king ever pick Hadassah?
Do you remember the princes who refused to eat the Babylonian food or say the Babylonian prayers? That is the opposite of what Hadassah did. She wasn’t going to miss out on her one and only opportunity. She would do anything to win. Hadassah learned to look, smell, dress, eat, and talk like a Persian.
She ate their meat and drank their drinks. She switched her linen and wool clothes for silks and velvet. She did all the fancy baths and beauty treatments. Nothing could stop her. Not naysayers, not poverty, not her ancestry. She’d give up sleep, time, and her own name if she had to. And it turns out she had to. Her name was too… foreign. It wasn’t Persian enough. And so she changed it. She started to call herself Esther, and Mordecai called her Esther, and soon everyone was calling her Esther.
And she learned to walk in high heels, and figured out dresses and colors that complemented her complexion. She practiced applying mascara, foundation, blush, and eyeliner. She learned to tell jokes and laugh loudly but not too loudly, and to eat food without spilling like she was already a princess.
On the day of the competition, as she walked through the doors of the palace, she couldn’t help but gasp. The windows were draped in rich, blue linen tied back with thick silver rings. The floor was made of marble and shells that collected into pictures that told stories all the way down the halls. There was gold and jewels on all the cups and plates, and utensils. It was even more gorgeous than she could have imagined. And she thought, “How could this ever be my home?” And for a moment, she doubted herself. But Mordecai came up behind her and whispered, “You’ve got this,” and that was just what she needed. So Esther took a deep breath and a step forward.
When it was her turn to compete, she walked with confidence. Her hair was thick. Her skin was smooth. Her face was bright. Her clothes were perfect. Her body smelled like jasmine and rose. And as she walked through the palace, she heard the contestants around her whispering together in despair because Esther looked like a queen already. And she smiled, a stunning, radiant smile. She was steps away from a new life. She took a deep breath, then turned down the hallway to see the king.
And the king immediately saw what everyone else had seen already: Esther was going to be the next queen. And so he threw a huge party and put a crown on her head. She had done it. And soon enough, they were married and Esther became a queen, joined a family, and received a country.
It was just like she dreamed. She was given a giant bedroom filled with beautiful things and lots of women to do her hair and draw her baths. Her sheets were made of the most comfortable silk. Her windows were stuffed with flowers. Her dresser was filled with jewels. She had money to spend and influence to wield. This was all even better than she’d imagined.
But in another way, it wasn’t quite what she had hoped. Because living in a palace surrounded by people who take care of you isn’t necessarily the same thing as living in a home with people who care about you. And while the king thought Esther was beautiful, he wasn’t around very much. She was never asked for her opinions about anything important. In fact, she wasn’t even allowed to go and talk to him uninvited. If she came to him with her own ideas, or thoughts, or even just to talk, she’d be kicked out of the palace and maybe even killed.
And so she spent her evenings alone and remembered her time with Mordecai, when he would tell her about life in Jerusalem, and their ancestors, and she felt an emptiness that no throne, or jewel, or wardrobe could fill. And one day, as she was looking out the window, thinking of Mordecai, she saw him. But he wasn’t coming to visit her. He was holding a poster above his head, protesting at the palace gate. Why? Esther sent a servant to find out.
As it turns out, Mordecai had a good reason. The king was planning to drive out the family of Jacob. Even though the Babylonians had taken the family of Jacob from their homes and brought them into their city to do their work, the Persians didn’t want them anymore. There were just too many of them now. They were taking good Persian jobs, joining gangs, and causing crime. They had to get rid of them, one way or another.
Mordecai cried, “You have to stop this!”
Esther swallowed hard. “What can I do about it? I’m Persian now. I’ve changed my clothes and my name, the food I eat, the laws I keep. I don’t belong to the family of Jacob anymore. I never really did.”
“Hadassah,” said Mordecai, “you are still part of the family. You can put on new clothes, change your name, and conquer the whole world, and still you would be part of our family. It’s not something you can get out of. It’s who you are. You did not become queen because you are Persian. You became queen because you’re a Jew. Your strength, your beauty, your determination, those are gifts from your parents. Remember the old story of Ruth, who left her family to take care of her mother-in-law? You are like Ruth to me. Remember David, who was a shepherd boy who became a king? You are like David. And remember Moses, who saved his people even though he didn’t think he could? You are going to need to be like Moses now. Save us.”
And Esther, who had broken every Jewish law, who had worked so hard to become the perfect Persian queen, who had spent months forgetting old habits and learning new manners, decided again to become Hadassah the Jew. She prayed and she fasted. She trusted and hoped. And then she stormed right up to the king and told him who she was. “I am Hadassah, a descendant of Kish, the great-grandson of Benjamin of the family of Jacob. And so if you’re going to get rid of the family of Jacob, I guess you’re going to have to start with me.”
The king was speechless. Esther could hear the servants whispering together. She’d come uninvited. She would be banished for sure, if not killed. But Esther did not die that day. Instead, the king was impressed with her bravery, and the family of Jacob was saved.
And as Esther walked away, she no longer felt lonely or empty or hollow. Instead, she felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She felt home. And she ran out to tell Mordecai the good news. She ran out through the large palace doors. She walked through the crowded streets, past mud-brick buildings, along the open sewage lines, to the neighborhood where she’d grown up, into the home where Mordecai was. And as she entered their old, broken-down apartment, she never felt more like a queen.
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